Another One of God's Blessings...

How do I explain? Monday night was a hard night for me. Things were coming to a head and I was very overwhelmed. Brandy was gone overnight. Harvest is starting so I know that will mean long hours for him...during harvest the kids can go days without seeing him, sometimes he puts in 80-90 hours a week and I'm parenting on my own. It was hitting me a little bit having 4 kids, even though Jaden has been doing well. Tye is usually very easy going and listens very well. Lately, trying to adjust to having a little brother, he's been whiny and defiant. I knew I was starting back to daycare on Thursday and I just didn't feel ready. Having a hard time keeping up with the regular household things (such as laundry), too.

In the past, I have had bouts of mild depression. Nothing drastic, just enough to make life not fun and overwhelming. Postpartum after the kids were born, especially Tye. One thing that can trigger my falling into that hole is not taking care of myself. I need to keep away from sweets (ok once in a while but not on a regular basis), excercise, and go to bed on time. Well, since we left for China I hadn't been exercising...always some excuse...and the sweets have been getting the best of me. And there was always one more thing I wanted to do before bed. Well, Monday night it kinda came to a head. Brandy and I had a good talk on the phone and I had a good talk with the Lord...both tearful ones. I needed to make some changes or I'd be heading down that road again.

Brandy's advice? Hand it over to the Lord. He was so right. I have been trying to do things on my own strength. My time with God has been lacking since China as well. God told me to get back on track taking care of myself. I told God He needed to hit me over the head so I'd be obedient...He answered with "that's what I'm doing right now." Point taken.

So on Tuesday I started fresh by setting some boundaries. There were some issues with friends that needed dealing with but I let other friends handle it. I excerised. I've been reading my Bible. I got a bit more sleep. The past few days have been better. Then God gave me an unexpected blessing today.

I wasn't quite ready to start back to daycare. Don't misunderstand, its the best job I've ever had, but I just wasn't feeling ready to "go back to work." One of my daycare families (I have two right now) offered not to start until next Tuesday so I could have a little bit more adjustment time with Jaden. I took her up on it! But I had heard my other "mom" was struggling a bit with daycare so I didn't want to add to her stress by asking her to put off my start date.

So today is the day!!! Funny, I thought, the kids are usually here by 8:10 because their mom needs to be at work at 8:30. Finally, at 8:40 I called my daycare mom (and friend) at work. She forgot!!! She knew I was coming back the 13th, but in her mind I would start on a Monday so she thought it was this coming Monday. She doesn't work Fridays, so now I don't start back until Monday. What an unexpected blessing from God!! I feel confident that by Monday I'll be ready to be back on track. I miss my daycare kids and by Monday I'll be the daycare provider they need me to be.

Thank you, Lord. What a nice surprise.