PAD

First let me sing..."The sun will come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that the sun..."

Been singing that song yesterday and so far this morning. It's time for some sunshine! We've had rain rain rain day after day after day! Hey, I'm a farmer's wife, and not one to complain about rain (thanks, Lord for the rain!), but now we need some sunshine. The kids are starting to drive me batty! Love 'em to pieces, but I think some sun would be good for all of us. It's supposed to peak out this afternoon...here's hoping! And Brandy, although the time with him being home more has been WONDERFUL, needs to get back out into the fields to combine corn. Can you send some sunshine, Lord? Please? Okay, on to today's topic.

You may remember that a couple weeks after we were home, I was concerned that my depression was kicking in again. This took me quite off guard. I had post partum with my bio kids, especially Tye, but there were no hormones this time! What was going on!?!? I figured it was just something going on with me.

After posting about it, two of my adoption friends told me that this was quite normal after an adoption. It was great knowing I wasn't alone in it. And as an update, I'm quite happy to say things are really good now! Praise the Lord! It only lasted a little while, and as usual with me, exercise, staying away from sweets, and adequate sleep helps.

During this "down" time, about a month after we were home, I got a Post Adoption packet from our agency. Unfortunately I was not in the mood to look through it. Because in it, I found out later, was an article about Post Adoption Depression, or PAD. Because some of my online buddies are in the adoption process, I wanted to make sure they were prepared that this could happen, so it doesn't take them off guard if it does. Knowledge is power!

Here's a snippet of the article, written by Judy Grob-Whiting:

When I first heard the term, post adoption depression (PAD), it seemed like a paradox. After all, once the paperwork, home study, waiting and expenses, (not to mention the stress) were over, wouldn't the moment of finally holding one's baby be a time of rejoicing? For many it is, but, for some it's not, and instead they experience post adoption depression. This reaction may catch people off guard, especially when it can't be explained by hormones, as is the case with post partum depression....

...After reading about PAD and reflecting on my own experience, I have a greater appreciation for those who suffer from it. As with any major life milestone, there is a natural "let-down" response. One simply cannot sustain the emotional rush indefinitely. Also, there may be hidden losses. Whether giving birth or adopting, the losses can include giving up or putting on hold a career, juggling family needs, and adjusting priorities in the marriage. For some people, the placement of a child can trigger unresolved feelings of infertility. For others, the day-to-day reality may be quite different that one expected, especially if one has adopted an older child or a child with special needs. Adopting a baby from an orphanage brings many challenges. There my be medical and developmental issues that take time to resolve...

...The main point is, don't develop preconceived notions about the initial adjustment period with your new child. Remember this is a transitional time for all members of the family, not just the child. Bonding takes time and you may be overwhelmed by fatigue, sickness, stress, and the new challenges of parenthood. Monitor your symptoms of depression and seek counseling and/or medical treatment if they persist and seriously impact day-to-day functioning. Talking to your social worker about any concerns prior to your child's placement, as well as during post-placement, can help to normalize your fears.

Finally, know that you are not alone and like all good things, transition takes time.

I hope by posting this I can prepare you a little in the very small chance that this hits you. Also know, even if you don't have PAD (and I pray you don't) it is common to have the "baby blues" just like you would after a delivery. Guess we can't blame everything on hormones! Shucks!